A poem by Tom Vaughan
Ars Moriendi
As you grow older, don’t forget
to swot up deathbed etiquette
first of all, leaving a will
makes loss a less divisive ill
(descendants generally fall out
if an estate is left in doubt –
yours may do anyway of course
and you for your unfairness curse
so make sure all who matter get
enough to head off such a threat)
next, if religiously inclined,
appear assured, resolved, resigned
to bear with grace the human lot
however seemingly crackpot
since if your life’s been an endeavour
to flaunt your faith, it’s now or never
then binge on Schubert, but if inclined
to modern music, bear in mind
death’s a fashion statement – Bowie’s
bleak Blackstar might be what yours is
number four, why not make peace
with those you’ve fooled enough to fleece
plus all you’ve hurt or long ignored
that they may praise you evermore
fifthly, plan your funeral
so those who’ll be there shall recall
the good taste which (they’ll long relate)
your chosen readings illustrate
lastly, please do not complain
however harrowing the pain
but bear it stoically, while hinting
at the bravery you’re demonstrating
the point being, a stiff upper lip
is a must for your concluding trip
Tom Vaughan
The original Ars Moriendi – dating back to the late Middle Age – was a handbook for the dying. It provided practical and spiritual guidance to the dying and to those who cared for them.